A question I’m often asked:

“Why do I feel overwhelmed even when nothing is technically wrong?”

This is one of the most common and most misunderstood experiences I hear about.

Many people assume that overwhelm only makes sense when something is clearly falling apart. A crisis. A major loss. A visible problem that explains the weight they’re carrying. But emotional overwhelm doesn’t work that way.

Often, it’s not one big thing. It’s the accumulation of many small, quiet demands over time.

It’s the constant mental tracking. The emotional responsibility. The pressure to keep going, keep managing, keep showing up even when no one is asking you to do more.

You might look at your life and think, “I should be fine.” And yet, inside, you feel stretched thin, emotionally tired, or on edge without a clear reason.

That doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
It doesn’t mean you’re weak.
And it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you.

It often means your nervous system has been carrying more than it’s had a chance to release.

Another piece I often see in these conversations is how people cope with that internal weight.

Many of us turn to habits like scrolling on our phones, binge-watching, staying constantly busy, or mentally checking out not because we’re lazy or avoidant, but because we’re trying to numb or quiet the overload.

These behaviors make sense. They’re attempts to regulate when we feel overwhelmed.

But sometimes, the very things we use to cope can quietly add to the problem.

Endless scrolling, for example, may offer a momentary distraction, but it also floods the nervous system with more information, comparison, and stimulation, leaving us feeling even more depleted afterward.

So the overwhelm grows, not because we’re doing something wrong, but because we haven’t had space to truly unload what we’re carrying.

Overwhelm is often the body’s way of saying: I’ve been holding a lot for a long time, and I need a different kind of care.

If this resonates, try gently shifting the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What has my system been holding and how have I been trying to manage it?”

Awareness alone can create space.

And from there, we can begin to choose coping that restores rather than distracts.

If you have a question of your own, you can submit it anonymously through the link in my bio.

This column is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Reading this does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are struggling with anxiety or another mental health concern, please reach out to a licensed professional in your area for support.  If you are in crisis or thinking of harming yourself, please call 988 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room.