Dear Therapist,
Every time I turn on the TV there’s another tragic news story on. I can’t seem to shake off the feelings of hopelessness because of everything I read, see or hear. I don’t know how to manage these feelings since it’s everywhere I turn whether I am on social media, watching TV or around others. How do I handle these feelings because it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get any better?
-Feeling Hopeless
Dear Feeling Hopeless,
I hear from so many people who feel this way, and I know how difficult that can weigh on a person’s mind. Oftentimes a client comes in looking for a way to cope with the hopelessness they feel. In today’s world, everything is online, information easily accessed through our phones, and social media, while it has its benefits, leads us to “doom scrolling” which is poor for our mental health. There are some things you can do to help protect and care for your mental health. My suggestion is to first start by taking care of you with some small gentle steps that are readily accessible to you.
Start by recognizing that what you’re feeling is a normal human reaction. Allow yourself to identify the emotions you’re experiencing instead of pushing them away. I say this because oftentimes I see people push down their emotions as a way to avoid or “not deal” with whatever is coming up for them. This only causes more internal pain that builds up over time so instead recognize and validate what you’re feeling.
Next ground yourself with some mindfulness exercises such as square breathing: inhale 4 → hold 4 → exhale 4 → hold 4 (repeat 4x) or 5-4-3-2-1 grounding: name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste/notice. These shift your nervous system from alarm toward safety.
Secondly, give serious thought to getting a handle on your social media and news intake. Limit yourself to checking news/social media to 1–2 short, scheduled times a day (e.g., 9:00am and 6:00pm) and choose a reliable source for updates. I know people don’t want to completely avoid all news, and there are some hopeful or positive news updates out there. With that being said, curate your news feed to things that bring you joy or laughter. You can unfollow at any time anyone or platform that triggers these negative feelings. Replace “doom-scroll” urges with short alternatives you enjoy (a 5-minute walk, listening to a favorite song,etc). Or if you have more time, listen to an audiobook or podcast, take a longer walk, or get into a hands-on project. The physical act of doing something brings your focus to the activity and away from the unhelpful urges. Lastly, take a break from social media or news sources to give some time for your nervous system to rest and reset. I’ve had clients who delete apps on their phones, turn off push notifications, etc, to help them resist the urge to endlessly scroll on their phones.
Know your boundaries when around others. If news comes up in conversation, set boundaries: “I can’t talk about graphic details right now, but I want to hear how you’re doing.” If necessary, step away from the conversation: “I’m going to step away from this conversation right now because it feels a bit heavy for me.”
Sometimes when we get caught up in these emotions we tend to think, “things are just going to get worse” or “it will never get better”. Try to reframe those thoughts to, “this is hard, and I can cope with one step at a time.” We often forget our ancestors before us went through challenging times too and the world likely felt dire for them as well. They got through them and so can the people of today see through to the other side.
If hopelessness lasts most days, or affects sleep, appetite, or work, consider contacting a therapist or your doctor. Asking for help is a strong step.
I hope that you find these actions helpful. Remember, what you’re feeling is a normal human reaction and you can get through the heavy times, you are stronger than you might realize.
If this helped, consider sharing it with one person who might need it.
Want a one-page checklist? click here: Checklist When News Feels Hopeless Download
This column is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Reading this does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are struggling with anxiety or another mental health concern, please reach out to a licensed professional in your area for support. If you are in crisis or thinking of harming yourself, please call 988 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room.